every bowl, ranked

The Archive

★ Cold Milk Takes · New Review Every Month · Since 1990 ★

14
Bowls
7.0
Avg Score
2
Felonies

The rest of the rack

Tropical Trix Cereal Review - The Cereal Scoop

Tropical Trix

Tropical Trix doesn’t try to reinvent the classic. It just adds mango, keeps the crunch, and lets the shape do the rest. That restraint is the smartest decision this box makes.
8.3
August 7, 2026
5 min crunch
Peanut Butter Crunch Cereal

Peanut Butter Crunch

Peanut Butter Crunch tastes like Cap’n Crunch that walked past a jar of peanut butter and called it a day. The crunch is real. The peanut butter is a rumor.
7.6
July 24, 2026
5 min crunch
Chocolate Cheerios

Chocolate Cheerios

This is not the sugar-bomb chocolate cereal you’re bracing for. It’s the one that shows up quiet and leaves an actual cocoa bitterness behind, and it earns that surprise.
8.0
July 11, 2026
5 min crunch
Catalina Crunch Cinnamon Toast Crunch

Catalina Crunch Cinnamon Toast

Catalina Crunch Cinnamon Toast has good macros. That is the only thing it has. The macros don’t fix what happens when you put it in your mouth.
2.2
July 1, 2026
5 min crunch
Strawberry Lucky Charms Cereal Review

Strawberry Lucky Charms (Limited Edition, Super Mario Galaxy Movie)

Strawberry Lucky Charms — the Super Mario Galaxy Limited Edition — is running the most convincing strawberry flavor in the cereal aisle. General Mills went and made something actually good while trying to sell a movie.
8.6
June 25, 2026
5 min crunch
Wicked Glinda Good Berry Ceral Review

Wicked Glinda Good Berry (Limited Edition)

The first bite of Glinda Good Berry promises something real. By bite three, the aftertaste has taken over and the promise is gone.
6.5
June 25, 2026
5 min crunch
Chocapic Cereal Review

Chocapic

Chocapic is a French chocolate pebble that turns your milk into a crime scene and earns every ounce of its 40-year run. It slaps.
7.6
June 24, 2026
5 min crunch
Ghost x Lucky Charms Protein Cereal Review

Ghost Protein Cereal x Lucky Charms

Ghost Protein x Lucky Charms is the most nutritionally correct cereal we’ve put in a bowl. It’s also the one most likely to remind you that “protein-flavored” is a flavor profile.
5.8
June 24, 2026
5 min crunch
Weetabix original cereal review

Weetabix

Weetabix is Britain’s #1 cereal and a functioning case study in national stubbornness. It dissolves in ~60 seconds, tastes like compressed wheat ambivalence, and every way you try to eat it is the wrong way.
2.7
June 23, 2026
5 min crunch
Reese's Puffs cereal review

Reese’s Puffs

Reese’s Puffs didn’t invent peanut butter cereal. It just made every other version feel like an apology.
9.1
June 23, 2026
5 min crunch
Strawberry Vanilla Chex Cereal Review

Strawberry Vanilla Chex

Strawberry Vanilla Chex is the Blueberry Chex that actually works — balanced, strawberry-forward, and purpose-built to end the bowl with a glass of Nesquik.
7.8
June 22, 2026
5 min crunch
Blueberry Chex Cereal Review

Blueberry Chex

Blueberry Chex is a tale of two experiences: a cereal that undersells itself with a salt situation that has no business being here, and a milk transformation that turns your bowl into something worth photographing. The milk won.
7.4
June 21, 2026
5 min crunch