Toy Story 5 Vanilla Flavored Loops Review
- Jordan Naeem
- 5 MIN CRUNCH
The opening bite
The crunch is instantly familiar. Same airy, slightly gritty loop as Apple Jacks, same hollow snap on the first bite, same structure that holds its shape under a spoon. Then the vanilla hits, and it doesn’t ease in. The flavor payload is turned up to 100: sweet, warm, bakery-style vanilla that coats the roof of your mouth. If vanilla isn’t your thing, this bowl will not change your mind. If it is, this is your box.
The box does real work here. A big Buzz Lightyear on a bold blue-and-green background, no clutter, and suddenly it’s 1997. It’s Saturday morning, we’re seven years old on grandma’s living room carpet, and Toy Story is on the TV. This is the rare box where the art on the front makes the cereal taste better.
The milk situation
The milk transformation is where this box earns its 9.0. Vanilla bleeds out of the loops within the first minute, and the milk turns into something close to melted vanilla soft serve, sweet enough to drink on its own. Bowl longevity is respectable: the loops hold their crunch for ~4 minutes before the edges start to give, and the centers hang on a little longer after that.
Where it loses points
Bowl longevity is the weak link at 7.5. Around the four-minute mark the loops go soft from the outside in, and by minute six you’re eating vanilla oatmeal. The vanilla itself is a commitment. It’s at full volume from the first bite to the last, with no second note behind it. If you don’t like vanilla, you’ll hate this box. And under the licensing, this is an Apple Jacks loop with a new flavor. None of the engineering is new.
The Good
- Vanilla flavor payload at full volume
- Leftover milk turns into vanilla soft serve
- Dry snackability: dangerous straight from the box
- Barely any dust at the bottom of the box
- Four collectible box designs (you'll want all of them)
The Criminal
- All vanilla, no backup flavor
- Crunch starts fading around ~4 minutes
- It's Apple Jacks under the costume
- Limited edition, so it won't stick around
Milk Takes
The verdict
An 8.8 that slaps for anyone who loves vanilla or grew up on Toy Story. It misses Hall of Crunch on bowl longevity, not on flavor. BUY ALL FOUR BOXES.
The verdict
slaps
Crunch level
8.5
Flavor payload
9.0
Milk transformation
9.0
Bowl longevity
7.5
Dust situation
9.0
Dry Snackability
8.5
Box art
10.0
Jordan Naeem
if you ate that
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